How do you know if your relationship is over?

It is never easy to think about the end of a relationship, especially if you have invested years of your life into your commitment and your partnership. Whatever happens, putting together plans without your partner in mind is one of the most important signs that it is time to end the relationship. When a relationship takes its course, the thought of staying with that person may exhaust you, make you feel like you’re carrying a heavy burden; you don’t seem to find any reason to keep trying to make it work, you feel taken for granted and you don’t feel it’s worth it. Sound familiar?^{Show Source Texts}

In some relationships, you and your partner can reach the point of resentment or contempt for each other. Hate and resentment can outweigh feelings of love and compassion for your partner, which is a typical sign that your relationship may be coming to an end. It is common for a person to feel that they have made valiant efforts to save the relationship, but they feel that no matter what they do it is never enough, they can never solve the problem and they have have simply ‘run out’. ^{Show Source Texts}

Guide to better living - when to know it's time to end a relationship

Letting go…..be aware

If you have been together for a long time and feel comfortable and familiar, it can become increasingly difficult to let go. Feeling alone at the end of a relationship is often a sign that someone in the relationship wants to draw your attention to feelings of isolation in relationship. One of the biggest reasons people stay in a relationship for a while after the end of a relationship is that they are afraid to be alone. ^{Show Source Texts}

Growing apart

A person in a relationship may have grown and changed so much that they feel they have outgrown each other. One should hope that people grow together in relationships, but that is not always the case. If people do not grow in the same direction, it may be time for them to break away from the relationship. ^{Show Source Texts}

Feeling stagnant

It is common for people to stagnate in relationships. Romantic relationships and friendships are a way of spending time together, however it’s important to be aware if there is a fulfilling mutual exchange between you both or if it is emotionally exhausting. Be honest. Right now, you may think it is going to be difficult to separate from a partner, but in some instances it is just a natural part of the long-term reciprocity demise that happens in relationships. ^{Show Source Texts}

Marriage is not always the answer

Another way to judge whether it is time to end a relationship is to look at a possible future together and imagine marrying your current partner. You may even have that friend who has been through a troubled relationship who suddenly gets engaged in the hope that marriage will make all the difference. Getting married is a huge emotional and financial endeavour, designed to show the world the commitment of 2 humans to each other.

Marriage is not therapy.

If the idea of building a strong and serious bond with another person can trigger feelings of panic and anxiety, this can be a strong indicator that it may be time to in fact end the relationship. No one can tell you what’s right or wrong when it comes to this level of commitment, but some marriage counsellors and therapist do suggest using your feelings as your compass. Make time to consider how you feel and trust your instincts. ^{Show Source Texts}

What happens when someone cheats?

Most people regard cheating as a physical act, but investing time and emotion in another person (a non-physical emotional affair) can be an important indicator that the relationship is not fulfilling for you or your significant other, and just as painful. Relationships should inspire you, make you happy and make you think about the future with your partner. Whether physically or emotionally cheating, it is important that this issue is addressed and it may be worth considering couples counselling.^{Show Source Texts}

What happens when you no longer feel safe in a relationship?

Feeling insecure or threatened by the presence of a romantic partner is an alarming sign that something is wrong with your relationship and one of the most important signs of a failed relationship. If you or your partner are afraid of being present or close to each other, this is a sure sign that the relationship is coming to an end and you should seek help or find a safe space as soon as possible. There are many agencies, including Womens Refuge that can help or call on a trusted advisor or family member to provide a safe space for you for some time out as you work out what are the right next steps for YOU. There is no time frame on this other than if you do not feel safe, remove yourself from the situation immediately.^{Show Source Texts}

When your anger turns inward

When a relationship is in its final stretch, you may no longer make the effort to approach your partner and ask then how they are or what they intend to do. If that sounds familiar, you may also notice that you frequently become detached, down or even depressed as you actually end up channeling your frustration elsewhere – internally. Being depressed is just the effect of your situation and the key is to address the cause, then think critically about what you want to change, what you need to change and what you’re committed to changing. It may even be worth making a list of ‘pros and cons’ so you can critically weigh up the consequences of your decisions and create a plan for moving forward again. ^{Show Source Texts}

To argue or not argue?

Disputes and arguments are normal in most relationships as each participant finally gets to ‘air your issues’, but your ultimate goal should be to solve problems in a rational and calm way. While it is normal for relationships and cycles of ‘trigger behaviour’ to develop over time, when a partners words, way of behaving or addressing you continues to trigger an angry or anxious state, it can be a sign that your partner is less concerned with the consequences and simply playing through the cycle of behaviour. If you’ve seen couples ‘baiting’ each other in front of you, it’s a clear sign that there’s tension behind the scenes and it’s worth looking out for that in your own relationship.^{Show Source Texts}

Unless both parties are willing to play their part in the relationship, it will not work. If you have a good person in your life who you love and who is close to your heart it is best to try to figure out the potential to save the relationship. If one partner is not willing to work hard to meet the other’s needs, the relationship is worth no more than time. ^{Show Source Texts}

If you think that you want to end your relationship, you can benefit from talking to an impartial professional who can help you find the safest and healthiest way forward.

Finding the right solution may be a challenge right now, but it’s important to remember that YOU are worth it. Ask for help, be honest.

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How do you know if your relationship is over?